Saturday, 31 October 2009

The A-Team

Having to bring a baby calf home for medical attention always entails some risk management! No moreso than when said baby has one very protective, loving mother.

This week proved no exception with a little sickly fella who'd decided to have a swim in the molasses trough needing to come home for some tender loving care. Barely a hair left on his body, he still had a good dose of attitude about him.

Having fallen back behind the mob sufficiently for Matthew (aka braveheart) to attempt the abduction, the A-Team swung into action. As often happens, Mama attempted to break the sound barrier in her haste to save her bawling baby. I was in the back of the ute ready to catch the abductee, as Matthew flung him at me and dived for the driver's seat with mama in hot pursuit, tongue out, bawling her angst.

Unfortunately, I had fleed the driver's seat leaving it in a fairly forward position, which made Matthew's dive all the more difficult as his 6 foot 4 frame hurriedly tried to squeeze into aforementioned driver's seat. As he slammed the door on mama's head repeatedly until he was able to close it, her attention turned to her still bleating calf in back of ute with me attempting a half-Nelson, quickly followed by a cross-body pin, transforming into a layover leglock chinlock.

Looking something like a washing machine agitator and a pair of wranglers doing the Fisher & Paykel dance of clean, it crossed my mind that we should have emptied the ute of crowbar, shovels, stiltsens, chain spanners and various pipe fittings all reminders of the trough instalment which occurred some days earlier.

As Matthew recovered in the driver's seat, apparently finding time to write a song, read a book or have a chat with Jess in the front I managed with one flailing free arm to grab a posthole shovel and fight off Mama who decided she was coming for the ride. With repeated loving, kind words to Matthew in the front to "DRIVE for &*%$'s SAKE", we did finally make the 3 mile trip home with mama in hot pursuit.

My body has bruises in places there shouldn't be bruises and I'm looking forward to a relaxing weekend.

Hairless Humphrey is in a stable, non-life-threatening condition.


  1. LOL... I haven't read a post that good online in a while. Thanks for lighting up my day.

    Hopefully a relaxing weekend is in store. :)

  2. Didn't notice the bruises.
    Old Nev.

  3. It's hard to believe that you are that glamorous sophisticated young woman enjoying the Gold Coast high life last weekend.
    Old Nev.

  4. What adventures you guys have. Makes me wish I was a kid again.
    Old Nev.



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