A mother's life is undoubtedly a varied and full one.
I had no idea when I signed up for this gig that I'd be the only one in the family capable of putting a new toilet roll on the holder.
Little did I realise I'd be able to cure most ills with a kiss and a Wiggles bandaid.
I didn't realise there'd be days when the bus would be waiting for us at the gate, the work ute would be in the shop, the battery would be dead in the good car and we'd have to pile into a cattle truck to meet the school bus.
I didn't know my ability at putting badly bent teeth back into position without the need for bracing or orthodontic qualification.
I didn't realise how gladly I'd swap positions with any one of my children when they are hurt, physically or emotionally.
I had no idea that I'd be able to make a cake look like a racing car, or a caterpillar, or a castle, or even a slightly squashed echidna.
I would never have guessed my ability to teeter on the top rung of a double-bunk ladder and still execute perfect hospital bed corners whilst tucking in sheets.
Who'd have thought I could conjure up four appetising lunches every morning, whilst cooking bacon and eggs and listening to spelling words, the washing machine humming in the background while the kids stand in front of both the pantry and fridge, repeating "But Mum, there's nothing to eat".
Little did I know I'd be able to change a tyre on the side of the road, clad in tight skirt and heels, whilst keeping three small children from venturing onto the Bruce Highway.
I had never considered the possibility of four young children with stomach bugs and the amount of sheets that can be laundered between 11 pm and 3 am.
I didn't know I'd be able to keep a straight face while my youngest child explains to my mother in graphic detail the mating process of our border collies.
And I never would have thought that after running from daylight to dark to meet their every need, often with no time to eat, that I'd still need to lose three kilos.